It's not that kind of place Hiru-kin

It's not that kind of place Hiru-kin

“Hey, how’s your day?” asked Hiro-kun with a really bright smile. It’s easy to get annoyed whenever  he asks that. He knows my default answer yet he still asks anyway. Simply put it, if I say my day was awesome, he will accuse me to be guilty of deception.

I took a deep breath. I’m supposed to push him away. But I remembered my manners so I just gave him a thrifty smile and sat beside him.

It had become our ritual to witness the sunset every day. Well, it’s not like we have a choice. It’s the only time when he’s not busy restructuring the constitution and I’m not also busy watching plays.

The sky is a canvass of orange, purple, pink, yellow and red. The wind is gentle and moist. It’s a calm feeling. Unbothered and safe.

He is silently staring the open space. I see contentment in his eyes. He must have felt the same.

Then, a flock of birds passed by. It’s my cue to take off my shoes and get inside the house. But this time, I don’t want to go anywhere yet.

“You’re still here,” he said with his eyes still staring at the sky.

“Yeah.”

...

 “Hiro-kun…”

“Hmm?”

“Where will the birds go?”

“I don’t know. But it has to be some place that is clean and pleasant, right?” He chuckled.

“Yeah, right. Some place that is clean and pleasant. You like that too, don’t you?”

“Yes. I do.”

I noticed that the stars are becoming visible in the eastern part. He was watching the stars on the west side of the sky.

I wanted to look alive and beautiful until the last time Hiro-kun will see me. I don't want him to think I'm leaving with a miserable heart. 

I will appear pathetic that way, and tragic. 

"Why can you still smile like that?" he asked with modest disdain.

"Why not? I'm happy," I said, still arrogant of my really big smile that I suspect is starting to annoy him.

"You never change. You still think just of yourself."

"Nah... It's not like that. I just wanted to show you that going away does not have to be hard. I'm just a little goodbye, you know."

" You're a big goodbye for someone so small."

"Hiro-kun, remember what you told me before??"

"Which part?"

"You told me that when people decide to be apart, they don't have to end up hating each other. I don't hate you, Hiro-kun."

"You... you don't hate me?"

"I don't"

"You don't hate me. I'm curious on that."

I heard a swift trudging sound. My train is here.

I was about to stand up when suddenly,  he grasped my right hand.

"What are you doing?"

" I want to show you that when a man holds you're hand, he does not necessarily have to be sincerely in love with you."

He stood up and towered me.

" And not because a man is close to you at a certain moment in your whatever life you have, he will be there forever. It's either he does not really intend to stay long from the start or you just took him for granted."

"Hiro-kun..."

It was my turn to get inside.

"Bye."

"Don't be a stranger."

It's past ten in the evening. It's a cold and long night. 
When I wake up, it will be Mikoto already. 

I'm tired and there's no one to talk to. Sleeping right now should  be easy. But then, something heavy is filling my head...

Hiro-kun. It's threatening how he can confuse me all the time. No, I can't be wrong. 
I had been discerning on this for a long time. This is not wrong.

But then..

Why can I still feel his pat on my head?

Why can I still feel the grip of his hand? 

Why is he in my mind?

No, I should rather ask: When was he not?

I must be thinking too much.

I hate him for that.

I had always despised Hiro-kun.

He can make me vulnerable.