On Goodbye

            Time is like a candle wax. If lit, it gives glow. Then it melts, it vanishes. Time is limited.

            Life is like a Ferris wheel ride. It goes up and it goes down. The people in the ride are filled with fear, surprise, joy, worry, excitement. But soon, the fun stops.

            Life is a journey. Time gives its length. Often, it ends before we calculated it would. Some are left complaining because they did not have enough. Some would be grateful because their misery was cut short. 

            But how would End be welcomed if it is addressed to someone who is too afraid to lose someone so dear? How would you leave someone whom you know would have a really hard time living without you? 

            How would you continue a journey left empty by the departure of someone you love?

            I don't want to leave. I don't want to be left. But I know no one can stay. 

            People are considered away when they are in far, far places, when they communicate us no more, when we don't remember them anymore, when they intend not to notice us, when they die.

            It's when we wake up one morning and realize we won't hear their laughter anymore; no  more traces of their smiles. It's when they won't hear anymore our “I love you”, “thank you”, “sorry”, and our “I'll miss you”. It's when their hands are too far to hold. 

            But the saddest absence is when we appear to be invisible in their  eyes. It's when we're just in front of them yet they choose not to notice us. Whether they are right beside us or they have their unannounced departure, it doesn't make a difference. Either way, we fail to tell them how much we care. 

            If they are to return or not is a question only time can tell.

            We are in a journey where thousands of faces come and cross our way. Some give us pleasure, some to challenge us. Sometimes, we are desperate to get rid of people. At times, we are dying to keep those who give us joy, protection, acceptance, and romantically, affection. 

            But no one can tell how long people will and can stay with us. Just like when we cannot assure them how long we will and can stay with them too. 

            It may be a cruel reality that someone so dear has to leave us. But on the glorious side, that someone knows that in this world, no one else can give them the kind of care and joy we gave them.  

           Goodbyes are inevitable. Still, we can choose to spend time to the fullest. It is when we escape from the fact that today might be the last. When all we think is today while those dear to us are still with us. And of course, when we tell them just how much they mean to us before we depart.

            Departure can only be wonderful when years pass by, then they remember us, and an honest smile draws to their lips.

            And no matter how short our time was, still we made other people appreciate life because we exist.

The Last Regular Schoolday

It was almost 6 pm. Some of the graduating students were busy filling up forms for academic and extracurricular activities. 

The school’s curfew hour is 5 pm so most of the students were expected to be out already.  I was alone inside the classroom. Due to some other activities, I was delayed in filling my forms. I was the only one left still writing.

He knocked at the door. I looked at him and I smiled. It was obvious in the way he looked that he is prepared to go home already. Nevertheless, I asked him if he could accompany me for awhile. He was apologetic as he said he cannot. 

It was the first time he ever declined a favor of mine.

I kept on filling up my forms. I admit I felt a little pinch of hurt in my heart.

I passed by my locker before I went home. I saw there a blue paper bag with a pink teddy bear and two inspirational books inside.

I told myself it was better that he went ahead of me. I don’t want him to see those stuffs that were given by somebody else.

I was thinking of putting the entire paper bag inside my backpack. He might still be outside. I don’t want him to see me carrying those stuffs. But they were way too big they cannot be contained inside.

I felt really anxious. What if he was still outside? What would he think if he sees me with that teddy bear? It’s no biggie but I don’t want him to think like I am interested to some other guy.


...

It was a long walk from our third floor classroom to the gate. It felt odd walking alone this time.

But I would be the girl who leaves before she is left behind. He changed his priorities, he said. Well I had a change of heart.