Things I will tell my younger self:

1.People break their promises. They don't always keep their word. So don't let your expectations high.
2.Don't compare yourself even if others will.
3.You are beautiful. 
4.Family is priority.
5.Laugh a lot.
6.You will fail sometimes. There's no shame in falling. It's an opportunity to do better.
7.It's okay to cry. In fact, you can cry in front of other people like maybe your friends and family.
8.It's okay to ask for help sometimes.
9.Remember who was there when you were at your darkest, at your lowest.
10.There is always hope.
11.Do not fall in love so easily. Don't just follow your heart. Lead it.
12.Have fun. Take the risks. But be wise. Be wiser, actually.
13.You don't owe anyone an explanation. Do what you want. It's your life, your masterpiece.

Beautiful Bastard Quotes

He needed to know the risk he was taking by
being associated with me.

I ran when the
going got tough, because I was so sure it was all going
to end badly. The only control I had was to be the one
who left, instead of the one who was left behind.

“Don’t worry
about me. I know I’ve been a mess lately, but I’ll get it
together."

Move

Maybe Freedom is a state of mind. Or maybe some place you go far from here. Maybe it's an escape two blocks and one closed door away. It's tolerance, harmony, and respect combined. It's when the people you care about, they know you for who you really are because it's okay for them when you show them. It's when they love what you do and love the ones you love too.

You are not the only who is scared right now. You are not the only one who is anxious of leaving home. There is comfort at home. No, not just the food, bed, and conveniene of everything. Here, it's safe. Here, you don't have to prove anything. Here, you don't have to try so hard. Here, you're free.

But we don't belong here. At least, not anymore. There is another world waiting for us out there. We cannot ignore that world. That is our reality. Not that we cannot do anything about it but we signed up for this one way or another. All this time, we worked for it, building it brick by brick. And there's no turning bak now. It demands that we finish what we started. It is waiting for us. When our goal learned that we are on our way towards it, it started running towards us.

Life will never be the same. We will never be the same. We may do things differently but we will do them. Things will get harder and we will become stronger. It may take time but we will get there.

So fasten up, big girl. Armour yourself. It's gonna be a battle out there. It won't be easy but you were made to survive. Persevere. Go on. Move on. Head high. Contain yourself. You are on your way into becoming a masterpiece.

Don't think about the people around you. You don't have to compete with anyone. Don't let them get you. I won't. You'll get there. One day at a time. One step at a time. One brick at a time. Do this for him. For them. And above all, for yourself. Play in your mind over and over again the kind of future you want. It's worth it. So, now, move.

Don't feel. I mean, don't get too emotional on almost anything. Don't waste your time over-thinking unnecessary things. You have a goal. You are capable. You are intelligent. You are worth it. You can make it. This time, it's yours. This time is yours.

You Can Let Go Now

"Sometimes, letting go is a good thing." This is what my friend said while watching Titanic. She was referring at the part where a couple just accepted the fact that they cannot survive the tragedy no matter what. They gave up trying and instead, they just held each other and faced together whatever will happen next.

Letting go is a good thing. I know that. I believe that. When you get to the point where you know it's not going anywhere anyway, you have to quit already. When he had said it so clearly that you are not the girl who will sweep him off his feet, and when you had told him that he is everything that you don't want in a man, then there's no point lingering to each other. You are each other's passing phase, an experiment among the many, a stepping stone to self-discovery and growth, and a friend in a relationship that only you two can define.

Yes, he's been in your life for a long time already. Through distance and time, you were able to sustain whatever relationship you have. But it's simple: you're either in or you're out. There's no in-between. You cannot invest emotionally. When you talk about your long-term plans, both of you are not in each other's future.

It was good while it last. Some really good thing happen in our life and  nobody else has to know. He's one of those good things. I know you did your part to stay away from him. There was also a time when you realized you cannot do it on your own, that you cannot let go on your own. But it wasn't enough. You needed to hear from him that he does not want you, that it's better for him to forget you, and that he wants you to go away. But you never heard him say these things. In fact, he always reaches out. And you were always too willing to accept him all the time. Well, you have to stop now. Do this for yourself. You don't deserve him. You don't deserve someone who will only be there for the "fun". You deserve someone who could actually imagine you growing old with him. You deserve someone who will be there for you forever. Someone who will take care of your heart and only your heart.

Mother Nature,

There's no point talking to you. You'll never understand. All you care about is winning every argument. Not everything is about you and your bullshit pride. For so long I wanted to tell you the places I've been, the people I've met, and the things I've been through. But you only want to hear good news. I'm not always good news. I make mistakes, I'm clumsy, I get scared, I get sick, I make plans but sometimes they fail. So, keep a picture-perfect of me in your mind. Constantly remind me how I should have been. Compare me to people who were able to make it. But that's not me.

I respect you. I have plans for you too. And I really want to show you what I really am but you're not ready for disappointments yet.

No Labels Please

Do you really need to put a label on everything? Can't it be just about two friends catching up? Do you really need to draw a line? Do I really need to cross that line?

You said we should rather forget each other because we are not each other's destiny anyway. Does it really have to be that way? Well, it is not the first time you said that. I truly hope that this time, you mean it. Forget about me then. Delete my number. Whatever makes you feel better, do it. I understand that sometimes, you just cannot  afford to keep someone who is, well, hurting you.

I'm sorry I put you through this. I've constantly put you through this for many years already. I did my part for you to not hate me much. But I guess, sometimes, there is no compromise. I am either in or I am out. You do not want to keep me if I am only to be a friend. Thank you for the years of friendship. I will always be  grateful to you for a lot of things. 

Take care, my friend. I hope your attempt to forget me would finally work this time.

Stronger

But when I walked into my bedroom and studied my reflection in the mirror on my closet door, I looked suddenly unfamiliar to myself. I stood straighter, blinked less, watched more. Even I could see there was some wisdom in my eyes that hadn't been there before.