Streetlight

This is an old post written on October 12, 2009.

I think I got used to this already. There is no excuse for me not to. I may be on a different corner of the earth but the setting is familiar to me. And no doubt that this scene will not change for a while. Eventually, this setting might remain forever.

This is the hour I usually find myself confused on the date. Somehow, I forgot that I am approaching early morn. The busy day left me unaware that the day's 24 hours has come to pass already. It is funny why sometimes, I think 24 hours a day is not enough.

Here I am again. I'm going back to this another home of mine-- to the dormitory. Yes, it is a lot like home specially when I am on my way at this very hour. Nothing so different. It is monotonous.

The stars. The navy blue sky. And sometimes, the moon. Sometimes, the fading cottony clouds. The street lights. The concrete pavement I tread. The cold breeze. The threat on the shadows. The consciousness of danger. The awareness of me being here alone. It would really be best if I am truly alone. I do not mind to hurry. I will get there soon enough. I deserve this leisure moment. This silence and calmness does not exist on the other time of the day. It is only now. I shall grab it. This is my peace of mind.

Yes. Mother still thinks I am with company. Just like the old times. I never told her that I actually go home alone walking the street this late-- or shall I say almost dawn. She would surely panic and will never allow me to go out. Too overprotective. I appreciate the safety she hold dear but how I wish I can explain to her that this lone walk I usually have is simply inevitable. She assumes that some friends drop me by, or drive me home, or accompany me back. Well, I do have companions. However, mother think of human companions when this time, I actually have the stars, moon, wind and stray dogs.

Disclaimer: This photo is not mine. It is more current too-- taken on 2011.
But it's the same place I am referring to when I wrote this.
Credits to the photographer. :)

I only have one explanation for this phenomenon of why I am alone walking along this street. Well, no one else is destined to be here but me. Others' homes are far away. And for this moment, for this life, I am but to travel alone until perhaps, someone else will walk with me.

When I refrain from walking again with anybody else, I knew then that the consequence would include me being in the dark without chaperone whatsoever. But I accept the cost. I am happy myself. The stars, moon, sky, streetlight, threat, wind, mom thinking I am with someone else and safe, barks-- they are a package. Haha. This is the life I choose. This is serenity. This is peace of mind.